Movie Remakes After Being Dark-Knighted

Gumption: A soldier with PTSD takes an old women hostage after she refuses to hear his stories. Several more women attempt to use the park and are also taken hostage. It is then that the police realize why the man suddenly went off. Gump’s son was taken from his care that morning because the boy’s chocolate-only diet gave him juvenile diabetes.

Uppers: Reeling from the sudden death of his wife, Carl Frederickson numbs the pain with a heavy dose of Meth. He goes on hallucinogenic adventure in his own mind, riddled with images of the life he could have had. In the end he chooses to remain in the dream forever and adopts an Asian baby.

The Princess Died: A fairy tale story where a swashbuckler battles several foes to find his kidnapped maiden. But she’s dead when he gets there.